I dontwant people judging everything i write and also it isnt the real more or also i dont want people too be in much discord and also I wish you could just forgive me and forget about it and help me and not just cast it aside i have dissociation and i suffer and ive been hit and just want to be taken care of.

And i dont know if i should move because some people are worse they are worse and you are worse for an unbalanced environment and also the truth of the matter and what is actual.

In addition to my perspectives, on suffering, I hope I deserve better, and also need to be treated with equality and deserving of giving praise and recieving praise in return and pray for her and pray for those who help and dont let them tell you anything that you are not.

And dont let them try to sabotage you or destroy you and let them see the totality of things and not just the parts they want to prefer.

One wealth inequality and social justice system

It doesn’t pay to be ill in America. If you have any condition, and didn’t have enough work credits, you’re getting like 943 a month.

Especially if you’re on schizoaffective bipolar, like I am, it doesn’t pay a lot.

But people did pay you in other ways. Still I am left wondering behind why it would be so much more in a Scandinavian country, because they have better social welfare systems.

Unfortunately, we are so blind and easily greedy and masochistic.

And Bernie would have won had not the establishment democrats used their money and influence to buy elections and not make us a democratic socialist countries.

Mixed market socialism has proven to be the best economic system if you look at those countries and how the system is.

We should prize a government and populace that values its citizens social welfare over greed and consumption.

Unfortunately the rulers don’t want it to be that way. They want this dominating class and everyone else below it. It’s a club, and you ain’t in it.

And that is the sad state for me, what the club is, entails, and how my own early life mirrored it and also contributed to it.

And I don’t need these people doing these things to me. It should be a better and more profitable business, not just a system for the rich and powerful.

And it should be more equitable for all parties involved not just a certain few. And I wish I was born in the Scandinavian country with better class and economic systems.

Because I have an ethnic name, I am not given all the same opportunities, and because of generational curses.

So that is where it stands today, and where the class warfare is today, on our own soil.

And how could, one of the most powerful political countries, be so divided and unpeaceful, that is the question. When still so many in it are good.

After this vision

Doesnt mean how it is interpreted and I think I create these states through my actions.

I like to have sex

IT LOVES ME

i have a sexual desire.

And i believe I always was

open to all people

and beliefs

just wish I could have made it right 

my bad

God and good to see you

Miss you

I would meet you

And I thank you

and its all political maneuvering

and also the ways i have lived

i respect people and cultures

and love what you have done for me

and despite all the hell i receive

I am glad what you have done for me

although, the world got schocked in 2020.

and the good and the bad

and the truth is easy to see forgive me

let me rest

I can't wait till this whole nightmare is over.

You can at least understand what I have done or accomplished.

And see the truth of the matter.

That I earned my credentials.

I was caught in a bad situation.

And they were sabotaging me to begin with.

And setting me up.

And that was a whole show they have going on in your head and space.

Where in reality

If there is an invisible realm

An etheric realm.

People should be more honest and thoughtful in it.

And not hack all your files and use them.

Without the lies and the cheating.

And the truth

You always saw it

and you know the way

Problem is you attract too many along the way

And they follow every move you do

I will be smarter than them.

And parent is a narcissist.

I should have enough money to go away now.

its all a hallucination, bur was also much more vibrant and loving in the past before i wrote about all them.

and they are all gay

they were too

and i cant wait till this is done

in july

then u can do whatever i want

i got a much harsher sentence then anyone i knew

and people are good to me in my dreams last night

i love the dreaming state much more than waking state franklyz

and i got the medicines

herbal and chemical

so its a waiting game frankly

it was much more for you than others

im just ready to travel long term now and maybe get a pet but that would just be another thing that would limit me from traveling as much. so which one.

hallucination, illuminatti, and the chosen ones, the awakened ones, they have a relatiomships.

Please let me be well and at peace in my own home.

She is hot

Hopefully regards,

J

All of them, defend me, more than you.

And all your lies

I am truth

Disgusting dirty psychopath

Sell your souls for a few bucks

There's a higher order

Go to hell

Die

And go to jail

I got out

You had to stay in

Die and go live someone's elses life

If you're so obsessed with mine.

I've met, much better, amazing, people, and life than you have

You suck

All your music is trash.

Who cares.

However I would say, that I was a complete Buddhist in college.

My straying and ways straying from the path, led me to a chance encounter with a karmic, not a twin flame.

Twin flames aren't even valid in my opening.

It was a demonic opening and it was captured.

And it was led astray by vices and encounters with others, practicing this more subtle energetic way of sex.

But it is magic, and it is even bery different from the Christian teachings I grew up.

However I have been that way for seven years now.

And, I would reverse or remember, before I met this person, what things would like.

It creates inner worlds, but also demonic openings.

She caught me when I was most vulnerable.

Now I could have just left, but have to wait.

And have something, more Christian, here.

It clips your wings, this way of sex and magic.

Real love, lasts, is real, and it was just simply being astray in teachings, also Buddhist teachings.

So here is to a new a spiritual path and foundations, and as Freud would say, sexual sublimation.

I sexually repressed for years and could channel great energy, but that energy is exerted in different ways, the energy of form, sometimes destructive ways.

So it is, finding a balance in between, and also being more mindful of your own sexual energy.

That, and I may stay more clean,

get a job, and do what I want to do.

So here's to you, my love back home. I hope you can see the beauty, the innocence, but also, my shadow estp function as well.

And, I hope you can all wait, opportunities in a new city in the summer, if I do go.

At least the noise was cleared today, and mcs interpreted and wrote my experiences.

And it may be brighter, yet another day.

It's good to hear my favorite artists and people.

I guess, they were all who they were, the people that haunt you from Tucson.

But I had a great conversation with Denver.

A great sober living, a great way to get away from a broken family dynamic.

Still, waiting till probation ends in July, I don't know what to do, but I found a driver.

I would move there in July when probation ends because I have to put in two months anyways.

Better jobs, better place, better life.

If I could only limit my sexuality and nature.

I try.

I want it to work out.

Here's hope to a sober community in July.

Thanks for visiting.

This field, where everyone also exists simultaneuosly. Exists through meditation and subliminal states which some people are just born with the ability to access.

And it also, like being a seer, or clairvoyant, but we just call it a disorder in the dsm.

But it should not be a literal bible because it flawed to its own subjective biases and differences.

You can classify anyone into anything, what is denoted as normal is subjective and varies across cultures and individuals. So there is a more postmodern perspective.

And it also, means that these individuals, or people that may have a different genetic structure, or their genes may have been altered as a result of their environment.

So maybe, we should pay these people more, not just the 943.

But artists, turn their inner suffering, and their 'hallucinations', into a musical or creative work.

So what's the difference? The value of it changes, and many people can relate.

Many people, go through the same experiences, and reach similar conclusions that I have in my philosophies and perspectives page.

I hope you can maybe see the truth, to what I have lived, experienced, comprehended.

And I hope we write the whole narrative, the syntax, as well.

And maybe, someone wants to stary a business with me about it.

Or, you can always call.

Peace

I had and still have to write my own story for my own catharsis

There is still much more I can add.

I wrote about some classified work.

But I had to write about it.

I also still write about my life in Tucson for over a year now.

I write about what I see.

And I also ask Chatgpt and Gemini about my sixth sense.

They say some cultures it is much more spiritjal and mystical.

West culture everywhere it will be labeled schizophrenia and psychosis.

Everything has meaning.

What is one thing or given a label in one context might be labeled different in another.

I wish there was a better way than drowning myself in antispychotics.

I dont want to be mischaracterized.

Well here's to hope.

And better things ahead

-J

That theory was based off my own life experiences and sensing.

I can't control it.

And also it all their mask and guise

When in reality they just couldn't control the people and populations that they do.

Anyways Harris

If you could even write to me.

I'll write to you

And also explain to you why that did happen.

I'm not even going to have to worry about you

You're the reason I'm talking to assisted suicide people.

And you're the reason your approval ratings are 37%.

And you can go get the hell out of my business and mind and life.

You will never understand.

What I have derived and what many people believe and see.

Well the conference might promote it

Amd I know the new Joker movie 2 will promote.

Maybe I can live ling enough. 

If I can get a new place

I hope so

Because this is so distuptive

Because, it sucks being stuck on SSI because you had a different path and third world countries left a sting.

And because you were hurt in your undergrad, and high school.

And all the pain, misery, suffering.

I guess Switzerland won't accept my request for assisted suicide.

So I hope a therapist can help.

I mean they should its their job.

And I hope I can move.

Hopefully my dad and I can finish it.

There's misery, there's joy, there's suffering.

People latch onto me.

And looks like I'm stuck in Tucson, while all the other kids are in Phoenix or elsewhere.

But I would fly to another country again.

For now, I need to move to a better place.

-J Jay Jamil

And yeah, I think I can put a review on google for free for torturing and suffering.

This is a very real phenomena

It is very real.

Child abusers will liferally eat brains of children or young people.

To increse their own intelligence

They are like zombies

It happened to me

And it emotionally scars the kid

this happened in my life

So I have to raise the awareness for others

That peoples intelligence would be higher

If they were not harvested

And it was all some sick plot

That would hurt me

And also feel difficult inside

It is like spooky action

Spooky action

And stil very quantum

Wishing for peace and freedom from it

Maybe go so far away

Or somewhere

To be more free of it

This is I hope soon.

Open to any discussions conversing or dialouge on it