My life. My poetry, travel, and musings.

My life. My poetry, travel, and musings.


My personal blog: Musings and Thought

21 Feb 2024


Firstly, I had a near death like experience when I was 19 due to a deep vipassana Buddhist meditation.

I saw A bright light and is if people were talking to me from another realm.

Ever since then I've had an out of body experience.

I also felt like I knew and understoof God as it's true form not just what people believe in without knowing or understanding. This was through a peyote vision when I was 20.

So safe to say, I had a great spiritual and personal evolution when I was young. I understood and merged with God in salvation or enlightenment as in the liberation theologies.

So through this understing, and different reiki and shamanic intiitions, I also early had experiences of the astral realm and it's significance.

There is another world and another science that has been proven in works as Science and the Akashic Field and others.

Many scientists have prove spirtiual concept, as I also attempt to explain and do so in my book and writings on this website.

Unfortunately, some people are not like you, and many people have different priorities and agendas.

So, they don't hire you, in any job, label you, never understand, the spirit relam.

I wish more people understoof, and people who understand my truth would get paid more or at least given a job they. can do.

I am sure and positive many homeless or some drug addicted people aren't given a fair shot in jobs or society because of individual differences as a variable.

So there should be greater understanding and equality of differences and everyone should be given what they need.

And wealth should be more equal. Yeah these are my thoughts, signing off.

21 Feb 2024

I need a new experiment

Well, my ideas in the philosophies and perspectives page, I wrote them years ago based on my qualitative life experiences.

So it was psychological research in a way, with case studies and analysis involved. I was also in a forensics lab in college.

Unfortunately, I didn't get into one PhD psychology program because of lack of recent references, and they didn't see the work. But my work got selected to be in an academic conference on consciousness, at my home university, which I am looking forward to sharing and attending.

Personal notes aside, and aside from the old experiment, new questions arise. How do we mitigate these metaphysical and abstract laws? Should we only hold the candle of proof to sensing observation?

Well yeah, I noticed people were reading

my ideas, and they were gaining more traction, I often engage in psychic intercourse with others.

I was remindes when I was confined, and in solitude, the visions I would see as part of the quantum machine.

Now, it is new visions of a different quality and variety.

Now, I think people can and only should determine if someone committed a crime by observation alone, and that metaphysics can hold many abstract principles, but observational and sensing worldviews should be given its own value as burden of proof.

Well yeah, that is all for today. Four months of probation left as I try to get off early.

Maybe get a home here, go travel, travel again.

My world, life and plans fir you here. 

Last note: Unfortunately people will twists your ideas and views against you, especially someone in a position of power over you, so this should not be the case. It should all he about equanimity and higher thought.

These are the thoughts, feelings, and values I hold today.

Peace and love,


28 Jan 2024


I have. B.A. in psychology, I've also been to an academic conference on consciousness.

I actually got accepted for my abstract to be in the new conference.

However, I don't mean for everything I say to be used against me or taken out of context.

I've been im a bit of a dark place lately.

I also have five more months left of probation.

So much of our lives is construed in our online identities.

But it is not the full person or picture, with what is digitized.

There is a whole person, a whole story.

Whatever I say, whatever I write, it is not all me.

And also people can read about you and make judgements anywhere on the internet.

There is a whole story, there is a whole life.

And, to anyone I hurt, I apologize, if I have hurt you.

Sometimes our influences and the people we are around get the best of us.

I am hoping to move forward to a new chapter this summer, and leave the past behind.

And wish for peace ad prosperity, from the federation above, to ours.

Peace and love,


8 Jan 2024

On my ideas

I think they are still valid.

In essence a quantum reality is an informed reality.

Psychiatrists endlessly prescribe medications for a psychosis that doesn't even cure the perceptions themselves.

Science has it's own flaws and biases.

Spirituality is the way to truth and higher understanding.

I redacted a lot of my previous writings on government and public policy.

I thinl these people are normally flawed and not perfect like anyone else.

They have their own misconceptions about me and what happened to me in New York.

On my life. Probation is utterly meaningless and unfair and imposed.

And they need to back off from my head and my apartment.

I see their faces. They are inconsiderate and rude.

They are rude, and prone to corruption themselves.

One day, now that I have the money, I will leave it behind in a new land.

They don't need to biometrically scan me or track me in another country.

And social security is paid bu taxes as a social safety net and not by the government.

So if they try to use that against me, they should understand that basic concept.

And they dont need to use my ideas against me, they all did anyways, My ideas should be used responsibly.

So they need more accountability.

That is all.

31 Dec 2023

Status today

I am feeling ok.

I am still stuck and being under my sentence, but it doesn't have to he invasive or rude to anyone.

Things with my family are healthier.

I have applied to a PhD program at the U of A, although it is tough to say where education at an institution will be with internet and particularly AI these days.

I had a good Christmas and coming into the new year.

I post AI my podcast and all old words on here.

I wish you the best, and wish humanity and the world to get better.

Sometimes I think my thoughts and beliefs and world is influenced by technology, and spirituality, it has been my vision for a while, I hope someone shares it.

Sometimes I think my shadow is watching, people can see me, I hear people.

I would like to see more science and progress to materialism and immaterialism and coalescing the two.

I think all my philosophies, here, explain that.

And my poetry and pictures too, to share.

This automation and AI is reaching levels we hadn't seen before.

I just hope we have the foundation, to use them correctly.

And still believe in a higher power, whatever you want to call it.

So here are my thoughts and words. Thanks for visiting my site.

5 Dec 2023

Update on today

I think the whole governmenr agencies and us probation are corrupt and filled with nazis

I experience it firsthand everyday.

They stalk and abuse in your and head and gaslight you into thinking you're the crazy one.

I wish they would all go to hell.

They are such corrupt and dirty facists and Marxists running this country.

All the while they get richer, and probation gets dirtier.

Screw them, they can all go fuck themselves.

4 Dec 2023

Current thoughts and frustrations

Firstly I was sort of forced to take a guilty plea or risk jail time when the government wins the majority of the cases because of corruption.

I was sentenced to two years probation.

I have always preferred and enjoyed a more nomadic and free lifestyle. I would rather be homeless sometimes.

I am usually forced and court ordered to be stuck in treatment, largely because of some of the education I had, it drove me permanently mad with psychosis.

I dont mean to complain, but my whole life has been a sad story.

I write about it, no one seems to care or it doesn't get any traction.

I am sad and mad, in what appears to be a declining American empire, but it doesn't have to be that way if the people in power woke up.

Sometimes I think I am just in this void of space viewing all these figures and people.

Not many people believe what I see.

And I have been stuck in an apartment by myself for a year, on a court order.

No one hires me for work even when I apply multiple times. I don't know where I would be without family.

These people in office have 8 million net worth and live in a big house, and most people are struggling to afford rent and find affordable housing.

I am stuck with the rest of them, in this unequal economy. I would like to see wealth redistribution.

Teachers educated me, in a lot of different ways, yet I am the product of them, and I am seen as a madman because of it.

Yet, aren't they really the mad ones sometimes? I mean, who is really sane.

So I am stuck here until it ends, at least it is only another half year of it, and I have an attorney, family, and dear friends fighting for it.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated in my world, I'm sure there is a lot of people who may feel the same or similar.

At least, some people try to care, the rest can go fuck themselves.

I speak to myself. I am the machine. I wish for, a more prosperous idyllic place to live, and a more prosperous lifestyle and way of living.

We should be a more advanced civilization, by the future.


23 Nov 2023

Updated thoughts about things

Sometimes I get angry, don't we all.

I am stuck and poor in a weak economy and can't find work.

I apologized to two people because of how I treated them, including the probation officer.

However, the whole thing was very ethnically offensive to begin with, I was pulled aside probably because I am a minority, I was in a line with all the other minorities.

And you know what, to put it concisely, I am absolutelt convinced and sure that the liberal agenda has a child sex trafficking ring atthe heart of the whole thing.

They normalize pedophila, and that part about them needs to change.

I think Republicans have more traditional values, and fight against stuff like that.

Still, I don't know who I'd vote for.

I think a lot of election systems are rigged, so is the world and economy.

The world is in flux, based on our orientation, and oue beliefs and views influence it.

So we can make it positive if we wish.

For every reaction, there is an equal and opposite reaction, in force, matter, and life itself.

That is all.


20 Nov 2023

People follow me around

Way back in the day it was this sort of pedophile ring who would see little kids through their screen and camera.

Then again, I always saw people, even thise my age.

Then, there was a lull, and it was all just friends regular people and family when I traveled the world.

When I got in jail and rehabs, it was celebs and Illuminatti, whatever you want to call that or that means.

It can be anyone, now it has been everyone.

I take the highest dose if antipsychotics, they still don't work.

It is like this was the way I was made, to see people.

If I had to diagnose myself anything, it would be schizoaffective disorder, and PTSD.

So this is what I have l, this is what I live with, this is what all my poetry and writing is about.

And it explains it, that people get psychosis through their words and images.

And everyone's soul or spirit exists in space-time curvature and the quantum realm

It is all depicted in Hollywood and readings, some of this technology is just likea modern simulation running peoples lives.

And is there a cure? Who knows.

But it is what I have lived with for much of my life.

On the bright side, I'm alive. I dont know how many more years I can live with it, I think of assisted sucide sometimes,it is reallt demoralizing that no one will hire you because of what you have.

Then again, they were all minimum wage jobs.

So, I live off my social security, and wait patiently for section 8 housing, that is all I have.

And I hate people abusing me, using me. I feel everything. I feel everyone, I'm an empath, I hate it.

16 Nov 2023

Some thoughts

I wrote a lot about my critiques of the government and American New World Order.

This was simply because, I had a variety of cultural and personal experience. I was a very free and intelligent person, and have I seen the wrong they have done to people in the past.

Unfortunately, some people probably read everything I wrote, even though they were in my files.

The US ranks 70th on global governance corruption scales, that is pretty low relatively.

Also, I was used for my psychic abilities and remote viewing ablities by the Trump administration and the CIA. It turned back on me when Biden was elected in office, and that changed, because I wrote about my negative experiences being used by the CIA. They set me up for a crime in NY for being a whistleblower and writing things about the CIA  and government.

Also, Mark Zuckerberg is corrupt and sells data and ideas to the government, and his new facebook and instagram is filled with bots and scammers, and the Social Network and Social Dillemma are two accurate portrayals of him.

So if you think this is all unbelievable, believe me not, but the evidence is in plain view. They manipulate and censor people, including myself.

7 Nov 2023


What is really a disease is governmental figures shouting you through your head and telling you you have schizophrenia and need treatment. They probably also have schizophrenia and obsessive compulsive tendencies on top of that.

Firstly, rehabilitation centers and treatment are just a means of social control, and you often run into people who make things worse.

Second some therapists don't even try hard enough to listen and they don't understand certain things or are poorly trained, and also burned with a high caseload so can't devote their full empathy or consideration to helping someone. Or they are just imperfect human beings themselves.

It is is all just a means of brainwashing and mental manipulation, and I am in it. 

Because I have always had some psychic abilities or sixth sense, they try to say all these things, but they are the ones hearing my inner voice anyways, and it threatens their totalitarian control the people in poltics, the law enforcement.

America has one of the highest incarceration rates and one of the highest recidivism rates, so something obviously isn't working for these people running these systems. Maybe they are all running it for profit and not human rehabilitation.

4 Nov 2023

My thoughts on split realities

In my opinion, schizophrenia or psychotic features aren’t always an imbalance of dopamine.

I believe, these people have accesed an altered state of conciousness in their lives, and live in parallel worlds.

If the multiverse theory is true, which many scientists are beginning to believe, then maybe many of these people are living in the different universe.

A parallel universe, where possiblities are endless. As in, our minds react to the universe, and with our science and technology, we can better study these split universes.

I take an interdisciplinary approach. The James Webb Space telescope is proving many of our assumptions of the universe wrong. The Big Bang theory is changing.

Also, if we believe in the ‘observation effect,’ that the act of oberving an object changes the observation itself, then we will see that we are influencing the stars and planets.

It is being ovserved that the universe erupted in eons, not just one big bang, so you could say, if you believe that we ourselves influence the universe, that the universe expanded and contracting coinciding with all of our civilizations appearing, disappearing, and recourring.

Plato had the idea that each soul councides to a star, so maybe the universe, stars, and planets are coinciding with the people being born and dying in and out od existence.

You can have a scientific approach while also having a spiritual. And they say in the beginning there was light, which created the universe, and the people in it.

You can have your own thoughts observation, but understand, that life is one great mystery that its existence may have been mysterious itself.

So this is my, synergistic world view. How could the universe come from nothing? How could we come from nothing? Evolution can also be in congruence with creationism.

The universe, is influenced by our own thoughts and perceptions. This is what many people are believing to be true.

There is the parts, than the whole, of the machinery in which we live in.


29 Oct 2023

Brief thoughts on war and science

Regarding people who I have heard responding to my other thoughts:

I think your psychological type has a great deal to do with how you perceive the world.

I think Jung has a very accurate assesment of psychological types, and it is just as valid as big 5.

I think some people just try to dismiss religion and spirituality, but look at where their weaponry of technology has gotten them, two world wars and on the brink of the third.

The problem is people lose their ethics and values when they worship science and technology and only that.

People need to wake up to a spiritual reality that isn't blinded by their ideologies. We all have idealogies, but it creates something known as 'idealogical blindness' a term noted by a social psychologist.

Religions are also an ideology, so is extreme forms of science and bad science, and corrupted science. It is definitely also a religion that doesn't always even produce the best results.

You can have bad or extreme forms of everything.

So don't follow the crowd, question your beliefs and ways, be an independent critical thinker, above all else.

You need to be wise to all ways of thinking.

That is all, then maybe we will know peace, and not be religious or scientific killers with people, as I read in the news, asking chatgpt how to do terrible and demonic things like plan an attack or bomb somewhere.

That is all, to share some thoughts on my previous philosophies.


22 Oct 2023

My podcast and episode on spotify.

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