My Life. My travels, poetry, and musings.

My Life. My travels, poetry, and musings.

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Excerpts From My Book

A discussion: My visions and experiences in relation to novel philosophies, theories, and perspectives.

Philosophies and Perspectives


Quantum Physics as Evidence to My Experiences, and Further Theories of the Mind:


Where could I begin, in relation and reflection to my story, with theories and perspectives I will present. To have been connected and sensing the presence of some of the great thinkers of all-time, I hear them through the light that connects all souls. To hear them in their encouragement of me to provide evidence and new theories in light of my life story; is my calling. To note the connections between quantum physics and psychology, and to give explanations as evidence to my experiences, I will now do so.


As I am inspired by several of Jung’s great contributions and work to psychology and religion; the letters exchanged between the physicist Wolfang Pauli and Jung, in Atom and Archetype, provides some of the best explanations I have read, in the relationship between psychic processes and physical happenings on an atomic level. I will source below, and briefly begin with my own theories and conclusions.


To note, there is some dispute within the scientific community, how quantum physics is used in new age spiritual beliefs. But just as quantum physics takes place in ordinary objects, even if we have not discovered some of the exact relation between quantum physics within the brain, as it continues to be debated and studied, that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist, yet still evidently related to psychology and the mind. I will now explain a bit about quantum physics in relation to psychology and the mind.


While classical physics is the study of movement and energy at the macroscopic level, with force and momentum being one example, quantum physics arose after the theory of relativity by Einstein, to explain occurrences that classical physics could not, at a more microscopic level. It would begin to be noted by physicists and scientists how particles at a subatomic level could act in different ways. One of the current debates and battles in quantum physics is ardent spiritualists using the term to explain mysticism, while hardline scientists disagree with the notion that it is purely scientific. 


My view, and one that I hope would ease this debate, is that quantum physics can and does exist in ordinary objects, independent of the observer, but that the mind, through its mental happenings and in relation to reactions produced by the mind and brain, also consist of particles on a subatomic level. This seems to me the most reasonable explanation and valid furthering of the debate in this current dispute. I don’t think it is unreasonable to say, in that, just as we consist of the same elements of the universe as in ordinary non-sentient objects, we consist of the same particles as defined by quantum physics in many objects, but with other variables and elements which define our consciousness and sentience within them.


I believe this explanation I give is within reason, if materialist scientists and spiritualists use the same science of quantum physics, to explain things they have the focused view and study of. The goal being is for someone to further study the differences between quantum science and the mind, as opposed to objects such as computing, electricity, and others. The fact that science and spirituality can exist with one another, in this aspect is important to note. As we all know that our brains and minds can generate energy as a physical mechanism of its own. And also in my view, having attended conferences in consciousness, that if different people weren’t debating as much their truth in interpretation of quantum physics, that they could see the possibility that their theories aren’t mutually exclusive, then progress and greater discussion could be a result.


As an example, to explain my own experiences, the theory of quantum entanglement is used often for spiritualists to explain connections and happenings of their experiences in space. Entanglement is defined as the experience of two particles interacting with one another within space, in a non-local position, that they can interact with one another over a distance. This could hold true for any ordinary object and happenings, but just like how the ‘observer effect,’ can influence the result of a reaction, a happening in the mind such as telepathy or feelings of connected spirituality, is also the connection of energy as a distance, as a visceral reaction. The theories in quantum physics demonstrably prove experiences within spirituality, with the ‘many-minds and worlds theory,’ as a result of studies in quantum physics.


The basic ideas relating to my mind, is that particles, which I see often within my mind, can exist non-locally, and that these particles can experience quantum entanglement. That essentially particles or packets of energy can exist in space and communicate with one another over a distance. This relates to parapsychological notions of the mind being able to see and sense energy within others, and in cases of telepathy, as these different particles or packets exist within space. The explanations of this form of energy in quantum physics, leads to a ‘many worlds and many minds’ interpretation of reality. The ‘observer effect,’ which is the observer’s influence and perspective in an event taking place,’ leads to the congruence with many worlds and minds within the observer, separate from their ordinary consciousness.


Perhaps in my view as a conclusion, we could find better ways with the sophistication of neuroimaging today, to study people’s minds similar to my own, that have deep spiritual or religious visions. Or, even if they aren’t in the nature of being religious, with individuals who simply do see things within and inside their mind. Measuring microscopic particles while measuring their brain activity, as they report what goes on in their mind, could help us understand, if for lack of a better word, hallucinations could have in relation to quantum particles. If such a theory of many worlds or minds corresponds to quantum physics; to give these theories more evidence and scientific data.


I will now note a further theory that has not been tested but poses a question for further research. One interpretation I have of the observer effect, is the observer's role in seeing or studying light, and that there may be other forms of light we have not seen or experienced in another universe, in our only relative understanding of time and light. If we seek to understand commonalities in ‘hallucinations,’ that for one example exists in the vision of light seen by near-death experiences. The sheer number of experiences individuals have had in visions of heaven and this light since we began to record them, and today studied by researchers, demonstrate its evidence of existing, through qualitative and quantitative analysis.



And also, that there exists a different forces of nature, within the mind and where it can go, independent but still in relation to the body and brain due to quantum entanglement. That quantum physics exists in ordinary physical laws and neuroscience as the materialistic scientists say, but also in the consciousness of the mind. The many different ways a universe can be, along with the observer effect, lead to these conclusions, with classical physics and neuroscience converging with views of time and light that are inherent within spiritual experiences. This in hope that potential avenues for further study may lead to new explanations and conclusions.


Within our history, we had some great thinkers in the early 20th century, such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung in psychology, and others such as Einstein, Tesla and Bohr in physics. Unfortunately, it would seem through some hidden agendas and secrets, that money was allocated to materialism and power over the 20th century, that may have led us to stagnate in knowledge that could be found. If we were to truly scan more people’s brains as a project, to access regions that gifted people can access, we would make more progress. As may be the case, that the price for neurological scanning may decrease, so that it may be accessible to more people. With that note, I will continue from the proof of experiences similar to my own, with better methods in mental health.




Modern And Progressive Views on Mental Illness, Case Study and example of a subjective experience, with Evidence.

Modern And Progressive Views on Mental Illness, Case Study and example of a subjective experience, with Evidence.


I have been to many mental health institutions, and I have drawn some conclusions from them. I hope the mental health system in our country is sufficient but can continue improving, with people with experiences like myself being given more hope and options in this world. I don’t often view conditions as diseases, but one’s discontent in a modern and disconnected world sometimes. I have learned of alternative medicines in my travels, and can envision hope and changes within the system, and through insurance companies, as it stands.


My view of mental illness, such as depression for example, is that these states and feelings are a disease of civilization and cognitive dissonance, just as much as they may be related to certain neurotransmitters of the brain. A state of conflicting values internally, in addition to societal distress, can manifest into a disease, which was a modern invention and not always present in our history. The issue with current treatment of illness is that we don’t actually always know how SSRIs and other medications work in the brain, thus lending to the conclusion and truth even psychiatrists make is that half the response of certain psychotropic medications is a placebo, for them to work. 


The debate of ‘nature vs. nurture,’ in mental illness can lead to disagreements and false claims on either end. In the book Nature via Nurture, evidence is given within the context of genes and neurology in nature, vs. environmental exposure. The truth lies in that genes are within the expression of the environment, as much as brain plasticity showing change in different environments and exposures. To note that early environmental exposures, have as much effect in the activation of certain genes that may be dormant, such as those expressed as a cause in different mental illnesses, veers away from a solely materialistic view. As in what may be contradictory fields of behaviorism is psychology, versus those in-depth psychology with their focus on introspection, both can have as much influence in the changing of neurotransmitters, leading to the belief that mental illness such as a depression or schizophrenia, are not solely about an imbalance in neurotransmitters, despite some doctors, but not all, claiming so, with their ardent promotion of drugs they claim are the best answer.


Furthermore, In Saving Normal, a former psychiatrist who led work in the DSM, made many claims going against his profession, to the fringe of being an outsider. Along with the many points made, is the ‘for-profit’ nature of psychiatric medicine and pharmaceutical companies, which can be an issue among other fields of medicine too. Studies privately funded on medications, can have experimental progress if they are wanting a certain outcome. Many pharmaceutical companies have been involved in billion-dollar lawsuits, for pushing certain drugs with dangers, or lack of evidence in efficacy.


Within this view in medicine, and deeper reflections. Most doctors do have the strong belief in helping their patients recover as much as they can. But as many things are, it is still a business that those in mental health and addiction medicine need to make a living off of. However, as is the case with any high-paying profession, there are many doctors who admit to being in their profession primarily because it pays well. But at the same time, there are also doctors, depending on their specialty as well, who advocate for cures that cost less but may not be as profitable, as opposed to others who only try to control symptoms with certain drugs, only under the evidence of expensive and privately funded studies, that control or skew the outcome. One example of this is with the aforementioned SSRIs, with doctors admitting that half the response is a placebo. Also, the same chemical formation is modulated only very slightly, with the promise that it will have a better effect, which isn’t always the case. SSRIs also take 4-6 weeks to have some effect, meaning more money for those who make these drugs, and capitalism in medicine within Big Pharma. What if, we ask ourselves the question, why we don’t promote cures that take less time with certain medicine. 


To achieve this goal, there is a fringe but growing movement about psychedelic or psycholytic therapy, both involving hallucinogenic or dissociative drugs. For example, ketamine is growing as an evidently based cure for treatment-resistant depression, along with MDMA for PTSD and Autism, and lastly other hallucinogens such as psilocybin for depression and end-of-life anxiety. So why aren’t these novel treatments approved for depression? It is because they are rapid acting, requiring only one or a few treatments. If they work this rapidly, pharmaceutical companies and doctors won’t make as much money, because there is less of a long-term price incentive and investment, for drugs that are archaic, and cause damaging side effects.


In relation to psychedelic therapy, often with the hallucinogen allowing the individual to access subconscious content and bring to light in consciousness. This therapy, and specifically ‘somatoform work,’ which allows the patient to access and emotionally process their feelings, with the therapist to help guide them objectively through their feelings.


So, the companies push these treatments away, as they are a progressive form of treatment. Even when they are proven to be effective, a heavy price tag is put on them, unfortunately for people who would do well on them, if they were put more into practice.


This to me, with the experience I’ve had in healing my own PTSD, would create more peace with individual selves, and with more individual peace leading to collective peace. Imagine if we had our soldiers or others with old wounds heal with psychedelic or psycholytic therapy. If we could get rid of the for-profit enterprises in mental health, which would also require some changes in other sectors relating to the government changing the schedules of certain drugs, as these drugs have been demonstrated as evidence-based with clinical proof. Most importantly, with the right therapist leading with the right set and setting for the client. It would also lead to the evolution of thought, consciousness, and healthier ways of emotional processing, rather than psychological repression, which leads to problems for the individual and others. There are more sources promoting and expounding on this view, which I will mention and recommend reading. 


To answer to the point a hardline psychiatrist may say; that SSRIs and antipsychotics have some efficacy, I would reply that they to what doctors say themselves that they are blunted instruments with their attempt to hit a target, very old drugs that only mask symptoms like a psychiatrist will agree himself, and damage brain functioning along with a long list of side effects. While the novel approaches of psychedelics come with little to no side effects, target areas and emotions more effectively for depression, and that they not only take much less time to work for the patient, but also promote neurogenesis among brain regions, creating new connections that allow for increase in thought, perception, and empathy, along with their instinctive wisdom. 


I now will change topics other than the condition of depression, in explaining another condition of what true hallucinations are. Along with what I had mentioned in the previous chapter, I will provide a case study connected to the notion of alternate perception consisting of the mind in relation to quantum physics.


“What if I told you there were two realities here, and the one that everyone lives in, isn't the real one? It's a virtual reality like the matrix, but overlaid on the real reality, such that nobody can see the difference. 99% of what people say makes no sense.

And I'm feeling very panicked, confused and distraught because everything I thought I knew is fundamentally flawed. I can't sleep at night. I'm going through the motions with my job and social obligations. Otherwise, I'm just in a funk, mourning the end of the world. The world is made of stories.

Am I suffering from psychosis? If not, what? How would you help me snap out of it?

There are several variations on this question.

Professionals likely wouldn't diagnose you with psychosis, because you're very aware of both realities, even though your conclusions may or may not seem crazy. They would mostly focus on the distress you're experiencing, unless their ego got triggered, wanting to preserve its world.”


Very recently, I had met a man, who was relatable to me in some shared experiences. As I commented to ask him what his delusions specifically were. He replied that he would, ‘see a bunch of regular people, famous people, and clones of them,’ to the striking similarity of what I saw. I have also heard others over the course of all my stays at different treatment centers and psych wards, remark similar statements, in line with his most specific statement that related to mine, most similar to my own visions.


If the same hallucination, or ‘delusion,’ happens to many different people, independent and distinguished from one another, what are the chances that perhaps there's some truth behind them, that the commonality in descriptions occurs with more than one person over a population? And to a further point that these people may be ill if their visions cause particular disturbances in themselves and others. But by the same token, if a census were taken, many individuals would report similar occurrences, so by reasoning that there must be some actuality of them existing to a certain extent, yet perhaps still undefined and unexplored.


If I see what I believe is a vision of someone, and with human cloning beginning to advance in 2020 as it has, is there perhaps another alternate version of this person as innumerable as the possibilities of alternate selves within another universe? Or as one may suspect, a computer-generated version of someone for mass consumption. I have no issue with their means or what may seem to be my outlandish claims, but a quick Internet search will yield those who have reached similar conclusions or believe that clones and robots are being created for various reasons, one of them being for their protection. I myself, not even being famous, have also felt that I may have been cloned, or images of mine that are on the Internet, may duplically replicate themselves, as an image on the Internet can be used for any purpose. That part of myself and consciousness on the Internet exists as a code within, that can be replicated with the bits and particles of the pixels that are my images.


So, with this understanding to further the point, that there may be some truth behind these so-called hallucinations, and that they do not solely lie in the excess production of dopamine, as commonly believed by psychiatric medicine. But they also have relation to artificial intelligence and quantum physics, and with other rapid advances in technology such as virtual or augmented reality, where one can remotely view objects or people from a distance. With them, the key area to study for an explanation, the relation of quantum physics and happenings in psychology to certain neurotransmitters in the brain, along with the connection of consciousness to rapid advances in technology that alter our brains and myriad of perceptions. These connections raise new challenges within psychiatry and psychology; these new frontiers in human consciousness that will come with further study.


To give belief and recognition to those with visions, in hopes that may be further research, so that they are not merely labeled delusions, but have a deeper meaning and connection to the collective unconscious, is one of my intentions in presenting my story and views mentioned. For example, in a union of this notion to Eastern medicine, to explain a psychosis pertaining to a ‘Kundalini syndrome’, or experiences of a changing higher order of consciousness with the acknowledgement of chakras and energy centers in Eastern medicine, with pharmacology being a piece but only one of a greater puzzle.


Which would raise the question, and what would be the defining quality of calling one ill or mad, for their ‘hallucinations of delusions.’  In the notice that I had read in one declassified document of the CIA which I will source below, and also stated in readings by Dr. Jung, is that the differentiation between visions within the psyche and self, or rather the structural integrity of an independent self in relation to vision, to still understand the world in its physicality, is the defining factor. As long as I do understand where I am and what’s going on, not myself nor anyone should be called delusional or mad if they are educated to the differences. 


Also, the ignorant view after all that has been said and experienced by countless generations of man, would be to call visions only hallucinations in their entirety. Further, with the gray line between being called sane or not, that the defining quality of harming self or other, be the distinguishing criteria. Otherwise, educating the person on what they see, and encouraging understanding to see the deeper connections to inner voices and happenings, is my personal view. 



Not to mention

All the universes

That can be discovered inside

And within one another

As numerous as the night sky

And explosions

In one version of time

Of the multiplicity of the mind

Existing eons in mind

Which other universes

Were we of a different kind?


The math of quantum physics as it stands has demonstrated to be proven true. But the connection to the mind and psychology, still remains to be understood, with new theories having been disproven, and the chemical correlation not decisively known. But to combine quantum physics with classical mechanical views of the brain, as particles and matter can exist through reactions of quantum entanglement. Not to say that only physical happenings are undoubtedly part of quantum physics, but that the mind and consciousness exist both independently and in conjunction with the brain, defining and exhibiting quantum behavior. So, if this is true, what can we say of alternate views of reality, as the many wisdom traditions throughout the course of man, espouse?



Science and Religion

Science and Religion, within History, and a Future Vision

    The ‘all-seeing eye,’ that I remembered seeing in my ayahuasca visions, meant for me after the experience, the unity and connectedness of the world, and not control, power, nor American exceptionalism, which is how I interpret some seeing it in our country today, with conspiracies of a New World order. Symbolism is as powerful as every nation in their history lived through symbols.


    Later in life, I would realize this psychic shift, and realize that the insights I gained in Peru, were prophetic in their own right, to the partial disagreement and subsequent disidentification with my culture, in the chance to become something or someone greater. As I would also understand, although with the treasures and importance of culture, that it can create a duality and separation of man with rigid identification. By the same token, that too much of the wisdom in non-duality, causing the individual to get lost in the collective, with the example of groupthink and national trends, blinding one another’s views. If more people were to understand these truths, for the unity of an Earthly and cosmic family, and to grow with evolution.

    To take the next step of evolution, with consciousness and our minds, would be a great endeavor. Yet with traditionalism and man’s general rule of being uncomfortable with change, I subscribe to the notion that impending transformation with developing trends in science and spirituality, of which I will name a few, would require man to change with no other alternative.


    One could note the awe and gift in humanity if we can make him a more perfect species through transhumanism along with spiritual enlightenment. But as a necessary equal reaction and measure, with the understanding of imperfection and what makes us human and wise.


    And among those who do understand consciousness, they tend to either be silenced, outcast for being ‘mad,’ or simply sometimes lazy because of their disappointed ideals. Or rather we would hope, the rebels whose ideals and revolutionary thinking would become acknowledged over the course of time, as has been the case with many great minds in history.


    It takes no genius to understand and see among one’s culture, to see the trends through any art, that explains the potential challenges that may arise. To see the Terminator franchise in film, or the contrasting novels of 1984 and Brave New World in literature, and to understand what can take place in the current reality or future. And in following, to understand what changes need to be made, to envision the present and future we wish. A future where ideas are counted, and we understand the sum of parts of humanity in the whole. Along with the parts of contemplating and contrasting individuals and ideas.


    That humanity will always clash in ways of ideas and culture, but with greater visions that we will inevitably have to compromise on; as perhaps we would if it was met with the outcome that we would perish as a species, within the great cosmic timeline. For contradicting parts of the whole to be met with what we see in reason; for science and religion to be one example of paradoxes to make complementary.


    Science without ethics is blind and precipitates disaster through lack of a foundation. Religion or faith without reason and notably exclusiveness to race and ethnic backgrounds, has always been prone to misguided intentions. The unity of science and religion, as coexisting parts within the whole of individuals, communities, and nations, will be a promising future for humanity if we choose. Specialists may work with interdisciplinary or abstract thinkers, and it may be ‘A New Age of Enlightenment,’ for the 21st century.


       That the candle of one, shares the light of the heart and mind, together with the collective consciousness of souls. That when one speaks of the collective unconscious, that it is not a myth or fantasy, but a vivid reality of humanity to connect and flourish in profound ways. But a disposition of a man, as he stays alone in the ivory tower, may never reach the masses.


    As much as many have idealistically supported my vision, but in conflict with the present world and variance in reality, just as much we would have to understand the dual natures of man. As much as prophets or followers of one religion don’t blind prophets or followers of another religion, we would have to bring results together to a consensus, that would form a mutual prophecy of the collective.


    And as paralysis of information of knowledge or consciousness of the Internet, would be one symptom of automation, already. And as the generation younger than myself, would have even more access to things than I did, leading to the questioning of things and further reasoning that they will come to. For us to have the philosophy of the ever-in-debate free will vs. determinism, is a result of our views alone. 


    As much as the theologian may be dogmatic in his beliefs and visions, in relation to and as much as the doctor in his science to explain and understand what the theologian sees. But when they find common ground, progress may be made. So, with this point, as numerous and subjective as my visions were, that we may enhance and develop new medicine or more effective technology in neural imagery to understand them better. 



For Others to See, to have Hope in what they See, Conclusions, Parting Words


    It may be a story that repeats itself and has happened countless times on Earth, but I have a uniqueness and modernness, that with my generation and the following ones I can relate to and share with. I may be in many different forms of art, but the wisdom of myself becoming forms of art and the other things I have, was the wisdom of interconnectedness through empathy and relatedness. That this same wisdom is inherent in sensing people in what we may call a psychosis; extreme empathy to the detriment and breaking down of an individual. To become the wisdom that grew with mankind, yet to share the new truths and interpretations with the novelty and era of my generation and its exposures, is my truth.