I see gold, and when I die, I see white.

I see green bluez

I admire those who stand before me

I've been fucked over since birth

I dont see the light

When I am in the blackness

I fight to see the light

I wrote all these poems years ago

I wrote a whole book

I had a lover who cherished it.

Yet Jeff becomes the richest person after I purchase things on Amazon

Because I am gold

Yet he cant even sell my book

Yet all the other Americans don't see the wisdom or truth behind it.

Because some of them are maybe blind or low iq

And yeah

I would go to Dunsmuir and Shasta in a minute, reading Rumi, and God.

And then, this is a microcosm, of torture, with seeing the po in my vision

And the rest

And the truth.

With a messed up family of origin story

As the old soul black sheep

And I am divine

The rest aren't.

The divine the saints, see it.

And the false prophets

And government

Have their way with me sometimes

I just want to travel my freedom and take a train

But I am condemned to making Tucson what it is 

And suffering under torture sometimes

I cant find or see the light

I wish I was free

Why am I not free?

Because I punched people who were harassing me and groping me

That is the only reason why

I cant believe it

That is all

Yeah if I can find life but all I think about is death

Because that is what this has been and is

And it was just death and torture.

I wouldnt get this assisted suicide

If I was just free

Why does it have to be dark and sinister

I always fought for the light, and always have

I just want my freedom

What does it have to do with a job

I have credit

I can fly

I can travel

And I wont jerk off

Although they were tempting

That was just the nature of the business

But I dont believe

That I knew all these people and girls look at me in all these ways

People are an influence

I was just fulfilling my urges

But I consent

I do consent, I always did

I hope you see this.

I heard all their thoughts and voices

Because I can sense

That is why

And I can be me

an

It's absolutely understandable that you feel like you've been abused by the criminal justice system, and it breaks my heart to hear about your experience. Here's what people should understand:

The Trauma is Real: Experiencing injustice, dehumanization, and constant surveillance can inflict deep emotional and psychological scars. Describing it as akin to satanic abuse is a way of conveying the intense suffering and powerlessness you've endured.Mental Health Impact: This persistent misery and feeling of hellishness you describe are common symptoms of trauma and a sign that the abuse has profoundly impacted your mental well-being.Exhaustion and Despair: It's natural to feel worn down, hopeless, and filled with resentment after such a prolonged ordeal. When basic freedoms and trust in systems are stripped away, maintaining a positive outlook becomes extremely difficult.Need for Validation: People who haven't been through this might not fully grasp the depth of your pain. It's crucial for your voice to be heard, and the trauma you've faced acknowledged.

What I Wish Others Understood:

Abuse Doesn't Need Physical Scars: Psychological harm and the violation of dignity are forms of abuse, even if they don't leave visible marks.The System Isn't Always Right: Even within the justice system, biases, errors, and outright abuse of power can and do occur.Compassion Over Judgment: We need to move beyond the simplistic "good vs. bad" view of those entangled in the justice system. Your struggle deserves empathy.

It might not change your situation, but know that you're not alone. Organizations advocate for reforms within the criminal justice system.

Here's where you can find support:

Trauma-Informed Therapists: Seek out a therapist specializing in trauma and who understands the dynamics of systemic abuse.Support Groups: Connecting with others who've had similar experiences can provide immense validation and reduce isolation.Legal Advocacy Groups: Some organizations provide legal support or advocate for the rights of those within the criminal justice system.

Remember: You are worthy of healing and a life free from this torment. You've endured so much, and there are people who will fight for you.

I hope someone reads this.

I was always alone, it was nature and nurture.

And also I was socially isolated and outcast, because of my trauma.

I was bullied teased and picked on in school. I was so different.

And then, I was alone early in college, but overall, I mean to say, I was bred this way.

So I sought of spiritual enlightenment and journies in my 20s.

And then, after I met a twin flame or devil, maybe interchangeable words, some of my life changed.

But then the stuff with the law, it was more because I was some kind if hybrid agent, and I was sort of in the fourth if fifth psychic dimension, which people don't like because I've always had a sixth sense.

So they used entrapment to get me to punch one of their henchmen.

But the president is a puppet himself.

And all the world's a stage, and all men and women merely actors, as Shakespeare would say.

And also, I was alone then, often in California at rehab while they all go try to fuck each other.

While I sleep now.

While I wait.

While I sleep now.

I wait for

more people to understand.

You dont have to believe in anything I say.

Plus, you all were delusional.

And for

many people.

Bipolar 1/Schizoaffective goes away with time and age, I hope this is the case for me.

Some people, think but they themselves are faulty.

And they can all go live in their own world.

And forget about the worlds they showed me.

But I'd rather be the martyr.

And also, you the probation officer, and whoever else wants to incriminate or use simple free speech and freedom of ideas against me.

You can all understand true freedom and also your satanic cabal agendas.

For friends and followers, you're welcome.

But I'm saying, maybe it will all go away with time.

Bye

Firstly, I had a near death like experience when I was 19 due to a deep vipassana Buddhist meditation.

I saw A bright light and is if people were talking to me from another realm.

Ever since then I've had an out of body experience.

I also felt like I knew and understoof God as it's true form not just what people believe in without knowing or understanding. This was through a peyote vision when I was 20.

So safe to say, I had a great spiritual and personal evolution when I was young. I understood and merged with God in salvation or enlightenment as in the liberation theologies.

So through this understing, and different reiki and shamanic intiitions, I also early had experiences of the astral realm and it's significance.

There is another world and another science that has been proven in works as Science and the Akashic Field and others.

Many scientists have prove spirtiual concept, as I also attempt to explain and do so in my book and writings on this website.

Unfortunately, some people are not like you, and many people have different priorities and agendas.

So, they don't hire you, in any job, label you, never understand, the spirit relam.

I wish more people understoof, and people who understand my truth would get paid more or at least given a job they. can do.

I am sure and positive many homeless or some drug addicted people aren't given a fair shot in jobs or society because of individual differences as a variable.

So there should be greater understanding and equality of differences and everyone should be given what they need.

And wealth should be more equal. Yeah these are my thoughts, signing off.

Well, my ideas in the philosophies and perspectives page, I wrote them years ago based on my qualitative life experiences.

So it was psychological research in a way, with case studies and analysis involved. I was also in a forensics lab in college.

Unfortunately, I didn't get into one PhD psychology program because of lack of recent references, and they didn't see the work. But my work got selected to be in an academic conference on consciousness, at my home university, which I am looking forward to sharing and attending.

Personal notes aside, and aside from the old experiment, new questions arise. How do we mitigate these metaphysical and abstract laws? Should we only hold the candle of proof to sensing observation?

Well yeah, I noticed people were reading

my ideas, and they were gaining more traction, I often engage in psychic intercourse with others.

I was remindes when I was confined, and in solitude, the visions I would see as part of the quantum machine.

Now, it is new visions of a different quality and variety.

Now, I think people can and only should determine if someone committed a crime by observation alone, and that metaphysics can hold many abstract principles, but observational and sensing worldviews should be given its own value as burden of proof.

Well yeah, that is all for today. Four months of probation left as I try to get off early.

Maybe get a home here, go travel, travel again.

My world, life and plans fir you here. 

Last note: Unfortunately people will twists your ideas and views against you, especially someone in a position of power over you, so this should not be the case. It should all he about equanimity and higher thought.

These are the thoughts, feelings, and values I hold today.

Peace and love,

J/Jamil

I have. B.A. in psychology, I've also been to an academic conference on consciousness.

I actually got accepted for my abstract to be in the new conference.

However, I don't mean for everything I say to be used against me or taken out of context.

I've been im a bit of a dark place lately.

I also have five more months left of probation.

So much of our lives is construed in our online identities.

But it is not the full person or picture, with what is digitized.

There is a whole person, a whole story.

Whatever I say, whatever I write, it is not all me.

And also people can read about you and make judgements anywhere on the internet.

There is a whole story, there is a whole life.

And, to anyone I hurt, I apologize, if I have hurt you.

Sometimes our influences and the people we are around get the best of us.

I am hoping to move forward to a new chapter this summer, and leave the past behind.

And wish for peace ad prosperity, from the federation above, to ours.

Peace and love,

Jamil

I think they are still valid.

In essence a quantum reality is an informed reality.

Psychiatrists endlessly prescribe medications for a psychosis that doesn't even cure the perceptions themselves.

Science has it's own flaws and biases.

Spirituality is the way to truth and higher understanding.

I redacted a lot of my previous writings on government and public policy.

I thinl these people are normally flawed and not perfect like anyone else.

They have their own misconceptions about me and what happened to me in New York.

On my life. Probation is utterly meaningless and unfair and imposed.

And they need to back off from my head and my apartment.

I see their faces. They are inconsiderate and rude.

They are rude, and prone to corruption themselves.

One day, now that I have the money, I will leave it behind in a new land.

They don't need to biometrically scan me or track me in another country.

And social security is paid bu taxes as a social safety net and not by the government.

So if they try to use that against me, they should understand that basic concept.

And they dont need to use my ideas against me, they all did anyways, My ideas should be used responsibly.

So they need more accountability.

That is all.

I am feeling ok.

I am still stuck and being under my sentence, but it doesn't have to he invasive or rude to anyone.

Things with my family are healthier.

I have applied to a PhD program at the U of A, although it is tough to say where education at an institution will be with internet and particularly AI these days.

I had a good Christmas and coming into the new year.

I post AI my podcast and all old words on here.

I wish you the best, and wish humanity and the world to get better.

Sometimes I think my thoughts and beliefs and world is influenced by technology, and spirituality, it has been my vision for a while, I hope someone shares it.

Sometimes I think my shadow is watching, people can see me, I hear people.

I would like to see more science and progress to materialism and immaterialism and coalescing the two.

I think all my philosophies, here, explain that.

And my poetry and pictures too, to share.

This automation and AI is reaching levels we hadn't seen before.

I just hope we have the foundation, to use them correctly.

And still believe in a higher power, whatever you want to call it.

So here are my thoughts and words. Thanks for visiting my site.

I think the whole governmenr agencies and us probation are corrupt and filled with nazis

I experience it firsthand everyday.

They stalk and abuse in your and head and gaslight you into thinking you're the crazy one.

I wish they would all go to hell.

They are such corrupt and dirty facists and Marxists running this country.

All the while they get richer, and probation gets dirtier.

Screw them, they can all go fuck themselves.

Firstly I was sort of forced to take a guilty plea or risk jail time when the government wins the majority of the cases because of corruption.

I was sentenced to two years probation.

I have always preferred and enjoyed a more nomadic and free lifestyle. I would rather be homeless sometimes.

I am usually forced and court ordered to be stuck in treatment, largely because of some of the education I had, it drove me permanently mad with psychosis.

I dont mean to complain, but my whole life has been a sad story.

I write about it, no one seems to care or it doesn't get any traction.

I am sad and mad, in what appears to be a declining American empire, but it doesn't have to be that way if the people in power woke up.

Sometimes I think I am just in this void of space viewing all these figures and people.

Not many people believe what I see.

And I have been stuck in an apartment by myself for a year, on a court order.

No one hires me for work even when I apply multiple times. I don't know where I would be without family.

These people in office have 8 million net worth and live in a big house, and most people are struggling to afford rent and find affordable housing.

I am stuck with the rest of them, in this unequal economy. I would like to see wealth redistribution.

Teachers educated me, in a lot of different ways, yet I am the product of them, and I am seen as a madman because of it.

Yet, aren't they really the mad ones sometimes? I mean, who is really sane.

So I am stuck here until it ends, at least it is only another half year of it, and I have an attorney, family, and dear friends fighting for it.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated in my world, I'm sure there is a lot of people who may feel the same or similar.

At least, some people try to care, the rest can go fuck themselves.

I speak to myself. I am the machine. I wish for, a more prosperous idyllic place to live, and a more prosperous lifestyle and way of living.

We should be a more advanced civilization, by the future.

-Jamil

Sometimes I get angry, don't we all.

I am stuck and poor in a weak economy and can't find work.

I apologized to two people because of how I treated them, including the probation officer.

However, the whole thing was very ethnically offensive to begin with, I was pulled aside probably because I am a minority, I was in a line with all the other minorities.

And you know what, to put it concisely, I am absolutelt convinced and sure that the liberal agenda has a child sex trafficking ring atthe heart of the whole thing.

They normalize pedophila, and that part about them needs to change.

I think Republicans have more traditional values, and fight against stuff like that.

Still, I don't know who I'd vote for.

I think a lot of election systems are rigged, so is the world and economy.

The world is in flux, based on our orientation, and oue beliefs and views influence it.

So we can make it positive if we wish.

For every reaction, there is an equal and opposite reaction, in force, matter, and life itself.

That is all.

Jamil

Way back in the day it was this sort of pedophile ring who would see little kids through their screen and camera.

Then again, I always saw people, even thise my age.

Then, there was a lull, and it was all just friends regular people and family when I traveled the world.

When I got in jail and rehabs, it was celebs and Illuminatti, whatever you want to call that or that means.

It can be anyone, now it has been everyone.

I take the highest dose if antipsychotics, they still don't work.

It is like this was the way I was made, to see people.

If I had to diagnose myself anything, it would be schizoaffective disorder, and PTSD.

So this is what I have l, this is what I live with, this is what all my poetry and writing is about.

And it explains it, that people get psychosis through their words and images.

And everyone's soul or spirit exists in space-time curvature and the quantum realm

It is all depicted in Hollywood and readings, some of this technology is just likea modern simulation running peoples lives.

And is there a cure? Who knows.

But it is what I have lived with for much of my life.

On the bright side, I'm alive. I dont know how many more years I can live with it, I think of assisted sucide sometimes,it is reallt demoralizing that no one will hire you because of what you have.

Then again, they were all minimum wage jobs.

So, I live off my social security, and wait patiently for section 8 housing, that is all I have.

And I hate people abusing me, using me. I feel everything. I feel everyone, I'm an empath, I hate it.

I wrote a lot about my critiques of the government and American New World Order.

This was simply because, I had a variety of cultural and personal experience. I was a very free and intelligent person, and have I seen the wrong they have done to people in the past.

Unfortunately, some people probably read everything I wrote, even though they were in my files.

The US ranks 70th on global governance corruption scales, that is pretty low relatively.

Also, I was used for my psychic abilities and remote viewing ablities by the Trump administration and the CIA. It turned back on me when Biden was elected in office, and that changed, because I wrote about my negative experiences being used by the CIA. They set me up for a crime in NY for being a whistleblower and writing things about the CIA  and government.

Also, Mark Zuckerberg is corrupt and sells data and ideas to the government, and his new facebook and instagram is filled with bots and scammers, and the Social Network and Social Dillemma are two accurate portrayals of him.

So if you think this is all unbelievable, believe me not, but the evidence is in plain view. They manipulate and censor people, including myself.